In our busy world, we have little time for friends. But we are wired for deeper relationships than a common acquaintance. In the depth of our souls, we yurn for strong, intimate relationships with others. But what is a real friend anyway? Some don’t really know what is..or how to become a true friend.
A pain ridden life, stung with trauma can reduce our interactions into seclusion. Seclusion is the worst thing we could ever do in a hurting and lonely place of life.
Friendship takes investment, time, effort and heart. It takes unselfish motives, selfless love toward another, full acceptance and often, forgiveness.
A good friend keeps a secret. When someone whom you care about, tells you something about how they feel, how they hurt or other sensitive info, it is to be kept in confidence unless otherwise instructed by them. So many “friends” take that info and go to the person who has hurt them and tell them. They mean well, but they are breaking confidence. If you want to be a good friend, a true friend, keep what they say to yourself. If you cannot keep it to yourself, it will eventually get back to the one who is hurting and they will know they cannot trust you.
A good friend covers weak spots. They’ve “Got Your Back”. If you use someone as an example for you to win, you’re not a good friend. If you complain to others publicly about a person, you are truly a very poor friend. A good friend will never expose your faults and will boost your positive aspects to others.
A good friend comes to you, and not publicly. If they see something you need to change, or have an offense against you, they will come to you about it privately.
A good friend sticks around when everything goes wrong. They won’t leave you when your family, personal, financial, health, emotional or business life goes awry.
A good friend is quick to forgive. They love you more than any offended feelings they may have and see the value in your friendship above the pain of the offense.
A good rule of thumb when you are hurt by someone is to go to them privately, and tell them:
1. What they did to hurt you.
2. How it made you feel.
Someone who complains about others publicly can be immediately spotted as a poor friend to you. But that doesn’t mean, you can’t be a good friend, a true friend to them. Sometimes, they need one, to understand what a true friend really is. Sometimes, they have never experienced what it means to have a true friend.